Mr. Sharma’s lost rum

Posted: November 6, 2009 in Fiction

It all started with a call. My phone rang and I was asked to pass on a favour to a friend of mine by fetching him 2 Kgs of Chawanprash from CSD as I am in frequent touch with the army postal unit for troubleshooting. So, I called up Shekhar Babu to bring Chawanprash for me, as I was talking to him a generous thought struck me in my mind to get some of my colleagues some cheap liquor. So, I asked him to arrange four bottles of rum and at last I managed to ask him for 10 packets of Act 2 popcorns for me and my sweet niece who loves to see them popping up in the oven and then into her. So, it was all arranged, I was supposed to pick up the things from 7 Postal Div HQ after my office. So, I asked Mr. Mohinder Nath Sharma, one of the two guys whose wine buds were tempting hard to taste cheap and best quality rum to accompany me to the Div HQ.
When we reached over there Shekhar Babu was busy smashing down the volleyball to his opponent’s court. Although, we disturbed his evening stint of play, he was too generous and hospitable in attending us. He handed over four bottles of rum to us which Mr. Sharma quickly stuffed up in his bag. Then he called the Sepoy Dogra, whom he had asked to buy the things from the CSD. As, it would take him another 10 minutes to reach the spot with the goods, Shekharbabu was not in a mood to spoil his game by attending us for another ten minutes or so. He advised us to pick up the things from the gate of 141 unit canteen. We were instructed to search for a bike with J&K’s registration number, which was on my tips till I found that bike but completely out of my mind right now, and wait for the Dogra guy to come up and hand over the things. We reached the spot within minutes on my Pulsar and spotted the bike and waited for a while. Then arrive Sepoy Dogra, he handed over the things collected the money and zoomed on his bike. As we just started to start after stuffing the things into the bag of Mr. Sharma, we were stopped by a Sardar who later turned out to be a Subedar in 7 INF div. He asked us about the purchases and then after inquiring for a while he asked me to lead him to the person who has bought the things. So, we deserted Mr. Sharma with his Pandora box (of course it was one as it contains 4 bottles of rum, 2 kg of Chawanprash and 10 packets of popping pop corns) and Subedar’s wife. Ya, the guy was out for grocery shopping and in middle of it he thought of man hunting and adding to his glory, although he claims that we were seen by his senior and then he ordered him to go out for the hunt still its hard to believe. We started for the Postal div HQ, there we try to convince him and let us go. But he was too adamant to let us go even after the intervention of Major Sharma. So, all those talks and requests fell into deaf ears, and it was decided that we would get to there unit and record our statements. Although I was busy in convincing the Subedar my mind was all set to search for an opportunity to get rid of those four bottles of rum. But, again sticking to his stubbornness the Subedar didn’t give me any chance and it was me and him again started for the canteen on my bike to pick up Mr. Sharma and Subedar’s wife. There also, I tried to make some excuse to sneak away for a while so that we could get rid of those bottles of rum, but the luck was not on my side this time too. So, we started for the unit and on the way I was pleased to know that Mr. Sharma was smart enough to throw out three of the bottles into a nalaah but he couldn’t get the fourth one out of his Pandora box (though now it wasn’t one without the liquor) as Subedar’s Wife was getting suspicious. We slowed our bike at a turn to throw the last bottle (I bet it would have been the toughest job for Mr. Sharma to throw those bottles) but the bag wasn’t letting it get out of it and the Subedar was slowing down to match us. Anyhow, the bag (Yup, its no longer a Pandora box) let the last bottle get out of it for the safety of his owner, and Mr. Sharma threw it away. Now the count was four three in a nallah and one along the roadside, they were worth Rs. 340 from CSD and above all they were non tempting XXX Contessa Rum. So, we were made to sit in a room and I started recording my statement on a piece of paper. Then only Mr. Babu reached the spot and after his suggestions my statement went like:-

“ I, Udit Vashisht, am working as a System Manager in postal department. I went to postal div hq to rectify some problem in computer. There Mr. Shekhar Babu asked me to fetch some things from his friend, as he has no conveyance and moreover he was busy in his work. A colleague of mine was accompanying me. Signed Udit Vashisht”

below that was my contact number. Altough it was a completely different from the statement given to the Subedar and then passed on by him to his Subordinate who objected a bit after reading my statement, but It was on the safest side. Then Mr. Shekhar Babu started recording is statement. When, Mr. Sharma was asked to record his statement, he looked for excuses and tried to throw the whole case on our side, he claimed the good was dealt between me and babu and he was none in picture as he was the one who was supposed to be dropped by me on my way back home. And, he was so true, the good left was not of his interest as the thing he liked the most was thrown away and that too by him only. Anyhow It took a lot of efforts to make him quiet and avoid him to be a spoilsport which he would have been at one instance if the Subedar wouldn’t have controlled his anger, when Mr. Sharma objected and infact inquired him if he too had passed favours by buying things for his friends, which the subedar rejected with affirmation. Any how I was successful in drilling out an incomplete and hazy statement out of Mr. Sharma which includes 3 “some” in a single statement that is, “I accompanied Udit to some place to fetch some thing from some person”, like he was an infant who doesn’t know whats going on in this greedy word and was a puppet who was just accompanying his master, “ Mr. Udit Vashisht”.While we were busy in recording our statements, the person over there was busy in clicking the photographs of the stuff worth Rs. 327 placed on a table. The sealed my Identification card. Then come the super moment. The stuff was placed on floor in a well arranged manner (No doubt, army people are too good in performing in a arranged way) and me and poor Mr. Sharma was made to stand behind it and two more photographs were clicked. It reminded me of the pictures of thugs, smugglers or terrorists caught with stolen goods, drugs or arms seized piled in front of them and they standing behind trying to hide their face. But, for some reason it was hilarious for me and I was having a strong urge to ask for that picture so that I can upload it in my orkut account, but somehow I resisted myself as It might offend the serving personals who were performing there duty and were cheerful and chilled out with us. After that the Xerox of the bill and my id was taken, the stuff was handed over to Mr. Shekhar Babu and when he tried to stuff it again in Mr. Sharma’s bag who was bit reluctant. After all these things we started back, me with the Chawanprash and popcorns and Mr. Sharma with the memories of Rum. He was bit embarrassed bit disappointed still he was trying to sort out some way so that he could get those bottles back. Hope he could get over this and get those bottles out of his mind and enjoy the sleep at night!

  1. maninder says:

    hahahhaa…… munna so u hv finally tasted the Army Rule!!!

  2. meeee says:

    yaar in short bta do …. what is all this u have written……….
    waise apna blog banane ka idea kaha se aaya…

  3. revenge says:

    hi dear…nice pic…n nice blog too…..vaise bht acchhha hai…par thoda sa vadda hai…koi n nhn….good try…lage rho/……

  4. h s jossan says:

    suggest mr sharma to start serching for that fourth botel of RUM which was not accompaning the earlier three in the nalah ,so that the loss will be compensiate and that bottel will be kept in the golden frame in his bar for ever with the whole story erected on its frame along with photo of yuors snapped by the amry officals .

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